I Can’t Read Mind For Shit!

It’s funny, that I have been married for 30 years already… boy!… how time flies! It’s funny, because when I was young, I never thought about being married for so long. I just knew that one day, I would find the right person, get married and have kids, but that was it. In other words, I never did put much thought, to being with the same person for so long. Don’t get me wrong now! They have been the best 30 years of my life. But like babies… relationships and marriage don’t come with an instruction book either. The truth of the matter is that it might be sad to say it, but it is really true, that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

You see, throughout history, we men have been called many things by women…  including but not limited to bastards, stupid, insensitive, dumb asses and even assholes. But one thing that we can’t be called, are mind readers. My point here is, that even after 30 years with my wife, even after trying many, many, many times over and over and over again and failing every single time, I have to come clean and admit. I can’t read my wife’s mind for shit! Yes that’s right! I can’t read my wife’s mind, even if my life depended on it… which it has in many occasions… for example, when asked. How do I look in this dress? Do I look fat? Or which color do you like? In other words ladies, please, please, please, just give us some hints. Don’t just let us high and dry.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

My Children Are Not An Extension Of Me

Some of you might now know this, but I am the happy and proud dad to a 27-year-old daughter and a 23-year-old son. But this post is not about them, it’s about parents who think that their kids are really an extension or carbon copy of them. You see, they really have to finally realize that their kids are also human beings. That they are individually created. That they have their own body and brain. Just like we did when we were growing up, they will make mistakes as they learn about life and the world we live in. 

The whole point that I’m trying to make here is, that no matter how good we believe we are as parents, the final decisions are in the hands of our kids. You see, just like my parents and their parents before them, I have given my kids hundreds, who knows, maybe thousands of advice. But the whole thing is. Do they or will they follow them? I can only assure you, that maybe, just maybe, they will follow a hand full of them. But the whole thing about being a parent is, that I know where they come from, because I’ve been there. I keep in mind that when I was young, I was also naive and stupid sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that my kids are stupid, I’m just saying that they want to learn the ropes on their own. One thing for sure is, that as a parent, I don’t and will never breath down their necks, in the end, they will do as they please.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all! 

My No Movement Movement

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! You read the tittle right! You see… I’m going to start a movement without any movement. Why? Because that is the flavor of the month. Are you sad? Start a movement! Are you happy? Start a movement! Do you suck as a human being? Start a movement! Are you a very involved slacktivist? Start a movement! Are you an armchair activist? What the fuck! Just start a fucking movement! OK, sooooo I know that by now, my loyal 1.5 readers are asking themselves. Where is this crazy ass guy with a blog going with this? Well, in my personal opinion, I think that today’s society is just full of big fat fucking babies! Everything stinks to them, nothing smells good.

Hey look, people have the right to start movements whenever the fuck they want to. It’s just that people really have to grow the fuck up, grow some hairy ass balls and learn how to deal with life as grown ups, like we used to do back in my days. Some people really believe, that if they start a dumb-ass hashtag in what I love to call an antisocial networking site, they will change the world from the comfort of their home or office. My point of view is, that grown ass people have to learn how to let go of shit and move on, if that doesn’t work, then get professional help and go on crazy meds. But the sad reality is, that so many parents have taught their kids… who are adults now, how to bitch and moan when they don’t like something. Please people, just learn how to change the fucking channel and move on. I know everyone wants change, but a dumb and stupid hashtag is not going do shit for a cause! Oh crap! I almost forgot! Spread the word… #NoMovementMovement

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Stop Being a Little Bitch And Stand Up For Yourself!

About twelve years ago, for the first time in my whole life, I got help for my OCD. But to be honest with you, this post is not about my OCD. This post is about one thing that I did learned from my first shrink. I remember that way back then, I would get so mad at someone, that I would blackout and say things, that I couldn’t remember when asked a few minutes later. You see, the whole thing was, that when someone made me feel bad, I would put my feelings in a bottle and put that bottle away. In other words, I wasn’t standing up for myself when I had to. At the time, I didn’t know how as an adult, that approach was emotionally affecting me, since I’ve been doing it my entire life.

I remember my shrink telling me, that when someone made me feel bad in any way shape or form, for me to let the person know right away… but in a nice way. The whole thing was, that if I didn’t stop the person right there and then, in the future, they would continue their behavior towards me. So then, I would react the way that I was reacting towards that person. Being a shy person my entire life, it was hard for me at first, because I felt that I would hurt the other person’s feelings. But then I thought. What about my feelings? Don’t they count? What about how that person made me feel? My point is, that you have to stop being a little bitch and stand up for yourself. Don’t get me wrong, I am not telling you to be an asshole about it, just to let people know how they made you feel at that exact moment. Just don’t let it go, because it will continue to happen over and over again.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Motivational Speakers Are Full Of Shit

Wikipedia says that “A motivational speaker or inspirational speaker is a speaker who makes speeches intended to motivate or inspire an audience. Such speakers may attempt to challenge or transform their audiences”. The way that I have always and personally looked at them is, that they are people who are full of shit and who get paid a whole bunch of money, for talking about shit without really knowing their audience. Why? Because a motivational speaker can talk all he or she wants about being strong and making it in life. But what if a person is just suffering from depression and actually needs help and not some dumb ass pep talk, from a rich dumb-ass that don’t know a thing or two about mental health?

Please! Please! Please! Please! Don’t get me wrong now! I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer or a Negative Nelly here! I just like to be honest about life. The way that I look at motivational speakers is. Who the fuck knows how many unresolved issues and problems they might have in their personal lives, yet they want to motivate others? I mean think about it. Have you ever heard about their personal life struggles? Yes you have, but only the ones that they want you to know about, not the whole story. So why the fuck should I be motivated by a completely fucking liar? The way that I look at it is, that I deal with my shits as they come. I really don’t need a bullshit artist telling me what to do, feel or think. When it is all said and done, at the end of the day, I’m the one that has to deal with my conscience when I go to bed.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

The Crazy Cartoonists And Comics?

Maybe, just maybe, my loyal 1.5 readers might have noticed that on the bottom right hand side of my crazy and insane blog, I have a link section called “Crazy Cartoonists and Comics”. I know that you might be asking yourself. So who gives a flying fuck Tony? Alright, hold your horses for a minute please, and don’t chew my head off. The reason why I bring it up is, because what I love to do in the morning is, check for updates from the crazy cartoonists and comics on my list, because they put a smile on my face early in the morning. You see, after I hear or read about all of the crazy shits that are going on in the whole wide world, I like to read something funny and interesting, In other words, something that will assure me, that the world is not coming to an end today.

I guess that what I am trying to tell my loyal 1.5 readers is, that you need some positive things in your life. Trust me, life sucks sometimes, but not all of the time. The way that I look at life is, that there are days when I just want to pull out all of my fucking hair, but then again, there are days that I am happy to be alive… actually, there are more good days than bad ones. I really try to look at the positive side of things, even though there are days that it seems impossible to do so. We only have one life and we have to try to enjoy it as much as we can. So keep in mind, try to enjoy your day to the fullest. Just don’t let an asshole fuck it up for you, no matter what happens.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

The Sensationalized News

For the past few years, I have tried to stay away as much as I can from reading, watching or just being in contact with the sensationalized news… yes! yes! yes! yes! yes! you read that right, the sensationalized news. You see, I understand that news outlets “have” to make money, but the thing that bothers me the most is how they show the news stories to us. I just can’t understand why is it, that they have to make things look or sound bigger than what they actually are. It just irritates my ass, when I read such tittle as “man saves entire family from burning rooftop inferno“, when in reality, it was just a small fucking fire, that even a baby could have just walked away from. I now they just want to grab our attention, but the one thing that I hate the most is, overrated bullshit stories.

Another thing that I hate about the media is, long as stories that over explain and keep repeating things or talk about irrelevant shit that is not related to the story. Maybe, just maybe, my loyal 1.5 readers might have noticed, that my posts are around 250 and 300 words long. The reason for that is, that if I can’t say it in that amount of words, I’d rather not say it. Some reporters just love to write long ass stories, thinking that we the readers just don’t have shit to do with our time. They really have to understand, that people like myself, just want to read a story and get on with our lives. To be honest with you, all that I care about is who, what, where, and when, that is it. The rest, is just a whole bunch of shit.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

 

Slowly Slowing Down

On October of last year I turned forty-eight years old. The funny thing is, that a few weeks ago, I read somewhere online, that experts… whoever they are… consider middle age to be from forty-five years old to sixty-five years old. How did they come about those numbers? Frankly my dear, I don’t know and I just don’t give a shit! But the one thing that I can be honest with you about is, that for the past year or two, I have noticed that I have been taking things easier than when I was younger. In other words, I have been slowly slowing down. I don’t know, for some weird reason, I can safely say that I am chillin’ like a villain now, because I am not rushing while walking or doing things, I’m just taking my sweet ass time.

A few years back, I remember that I used to rush when walking. Why? I really don’t know! I guess, I was just full of extra energy. A while back, I thought that I was slowing down because of the anxiety medication that I am taking, but being on and off of it for quite some time now, it just seems that it’s not the crazy med, but my body going through some changes. I’ve also noticed, that sometimes when I bend down, or try to straighten up, I can feel some pain in some joints and some parts of my body. The thing about it is, that I always knew that I was going to get old and that my body was going to go through a lot of changes, I just didn’t know how or when. I know for a fact, that I’m no spring chicken anymore, so I really have to take it easy from now on. I’m just going to be chillin’ like a villain. Nothing more, nothing less.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

The Drinking Game

OK, I can’t tell a lie, I did drink this past weekend. So why do I drink? Because I don’t have shit to do on the weekends. You see, I do run errands with my wife early Saturday mornings, but after that, I don’t have shit to do, than to watch TV or mix or listen to some House music. I know! I know! I know! I know! I know! Why don’t I look for something better to do on my free time? I have to say, it is not easy, specially in the Winter time. You have to understand, that I hate the cold weather and the snow, so there is no chance in hell, that I will go outside to do shit.

My shrink has suggested numerous times, that I do volunteer work on my free time, but the thing about is that most organization want me to commit a set amount of time, which I can’t do. I mean, I’m only off from work on Saturdays and Sundays and I feel that if I volunteer one or both days, I’m not going to get the rest that I need and I won’t have any alone time. Yes! Yes! Yes! I really like and enjoy some alone time to reboot and recharge my body and my mind. So next time, I’ll just have to stop the stinking thinking as soon as it starts.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I’m Just Myself

I remember that when I was a kid, I wanted to be just like a superhero. I remember that for Halloween, my parents always got me a superhero costume. As I grew older and I learned about history, I just wanted to be like some people in history, you know, people who change things for the good of humanity. The whole thing is, that looking back in my life, I always wanted to be like someone else, never did I just thought about being myself. I mean, I wanted to make history, I wanted to help humanity and I also wanted to change the world if I could. Never did it occurred to me, just to be myself.

The point that I am trying to make here is, that I see so many people going out in the world, trying to change everything or trying to be like someone else. I feel that they try so hard, that they get lost or better yet, they lose themselves in all the bullshit. The one thing that I learned in my early 20’s was, that I shouldn’t give a flying fuck, about what others thought about me. That included how I looked, dressed, talked, sounded, viewed everything, how much money I had, what I could or not afford and how I lived my life in general. The way that I look at life now is, that as long as I am not hurting myself or anyone else, I shouldn’t give a fuck about what people think or say about me. What I am trying to say here is, that I love being me! I just don’t give a rat’s ass about people’s fucked up opinions and you shouldn’t either. Just be yourself. Feel comfortable in your skin.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

It’s A Blog About Nothing

It’s funny, but I try to post to this here insane blog almost everyday. But the number one question that keeps popping into my mind is. Why do some people even bother reading all the crazy shit that I write about? I mean, does it even makes sense to them? First of all, I don’t have a niche or topic, so I post about anything and everything that comes to my mind on a given day. And second of all, I don’t even know what I am doing. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know… It doesn’t make sense at all to all of my loyal 10 readers. But to be honest with you, it really doesn’t even make sense to me at all either. You have to understand, that I also blog in order to get my crazy thoughts out of my head and on to something.

I know that out of my loyal 10 readers, maybe 1 or 2 might ask. Why the fuck is this a blog about nothing, when you blog about your thoughts? Like I mentioned before, my blog is not a niche blog or a blog about a specific topic. That is the reason why I call it that. To me, it is a place to breathe out, exhale and in other words, get shit out of my mind. It’s a way for me not to go insane. I know that I am crazy because of my multiple mental disorders, but one thing that I can assure you is, that I am not insane… or at least not yet… I feel that I am not there yet, but I am pretty sure that I am getting there. One thing that I would like to say from the bottom of my heart is, thank you for reading my crazy blog about nothing. Better yet, thanks to those who take the time from their busy and crazy lives, to comment on my crazy posts.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I’m A Loner. So What?

Not so many people know that out of nine children that My parents had, I am the youngest one and the only boy. I remember that when I was between three and five years old, my family lived in Puerto Rico. I still remember the place, because we had a big mountain for our backyard. I remember that I used to go up the mountain all of the time and play by myself, for who knows how long, because I enjoyed it so much. As I go older, I really got to enjoy playing by myself. As a matter of fact, to me, it was something normal.

My point? I just don’t know where people got the idea that being a loner is a bad thing. I mean, being a loner doesn’t mean that I hate people and that I hate spending time with other human beings. You have to understand, that I have been a loner my whole life, but I still do socialize with others. You see, I don’t expect others to like everything that I like, so there are certain things that I like to do alone. I also like to be alone in order to be able to think and reflect on life and also to recharge. A lot of people need to do some really good research before they call someone a sociopath rather than a loner. Also, only because I am a loner, doesn’t exactly mean that I am depressed and thinking about death, it’s just that I enjoy spending time by myself. Plus I have been married for thirty years, have two adult kids and a crazy dog, in other words, even though I am a loner, I love spending time with my family.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

The Bad News Is… The Bad News

A few days ago I decided to cut down on my news consumption. The reason for this is, that I feel that the news, either print, TV or even the internet, is all about bad news. Another thing that I have noticed about bad, depressing and sensationalized news stories is, that it affect my mood and how I feel about humanity, life and the whole world in general. Just like anti-social websites, right now I feel that reporters and news companies, just care about ratings and making money, not about bringing the truth to the people who use or consume it.

I remember when I was a young teenager, the reporters back then, actually did research and brought stories that really matter to their readers. Today, they don’t do the research like they are supposed to, they get wrong information from sources that are not reliable and they just don’t care if the story matters to their readers. Plain and simply put, it’s just about rating and money. It is really sad, because back in the days, reporters were people who everyone looked up to and respected. Today the media is about having a story that will go viral. It really bothers me, that when I read or see a story on TV, I must ask myself… is this the truth and nothing but the truth? Or is it some made up bullshit story, by some stupid reporter or network, that is crying out for attention like a baby? The one thing for sure is, that the only news that I have been keeping up with are positive or good news and technology news. Nothing more, nothing less. The rest, is just bullshit.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

2018?… Big Deal!

I know that to my loyal 1.5 readers, this post might come as a surprise, since I deleted all of my previous posts and haven’t posted in weeks. To be honest with you, I’ve been busy with the only bad hobby that I haven’t been able to get rid off….. yes, get rid off….. and that is binge drinking on the weekends. I mean, previously I have been able to stop drinking for an entire month, but once I hit that mark, all bets are off for just one weekend at a time. In other words, I can’t seem to go over the one month sober mark, without getting fucked up on the fifth weekend.

The one thing about 2018 is, that I am planning on drinking less. Don’t get me wrong, it is not a new year resolution, because I really fucking hate new year resolutions, I find them to be fucking stupid and pointless. People keep making them and breaking them like if there’s no tomorrow. The way that I am looking at my drinking this year is, to limit it to special occasions, not just drinking every weekend just for the hell of it. To be honest with you, I feel that my age is catching up with my drinking and so the hangovers are lasting longer, if that makes any sense to you. Well, I’ll just take a chill pill, relax and enjoy my weekends without any alcohol or binge drinking. I have a whole year in front of me, I’ll just see how it goes.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!