I Can’t Read Mind For Shit!

It’s funny, that I have been married for 30 years already… boy!… how time flies! It’s funny, because when I was young, I never thought about being married for so long. I just knew that one day, I would find the right person, get married and have kids, but that was it. In other words, I never did put much thought, to being with the same person for so long. Don’t get me wrong now! They have been the best 30 years of my life. But like babies… relationships and marriage don’t come with an instruction book either. The truth of the matter is that it might be sad to say it, but it is really true, that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

You see, throughout history, we men have been called many things by women…  including but not limited to bastards, stupid, insensitive, dumb asses and even assholes. But one thing that we can’t be called, are mind readers. My point here is, that even after 30 years with my wife, even after trying many, many, many times over and over and over again and failing every single time, I have to come clean and admit. I can’t read my wife’s mind for shit! Yes that’s right! I can’t read my wife’s mind, even if my life depended on it… which it has in many occasions… for example, when asked. How do I look in this dress? Do I look fat? Or which color do you like? In other words ladies, please, please, please, just give us some hints. Don’t just let us high and dry.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

My No Movement Movement

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! You read the tittle right! You see… I’m going to start a movement without any movement. Why? Because that is the flavor of the month. Are you sad? Start a movement! Are you happy? Start a movement! Do you suck as a human being? Start a movement! Are you a very involved slacktivist? Start a movement! Are you an armchair activist? What the fuck! Just start a fucking movement! OK, sooooo I know that by now, my loyal 1.5 readers are asking themselves. Where is this crazy ass guy with a blog going with this? Well, in my personal opinion, I think that today’s society is just full of big fat fucking babies! Everything stinks to them, nothing smells good.

Hey look, people have the right to start movements whenever the fuck they want to. It’s just that people really have to grow the fuck up, grow some hairy ass balls and learn how to deal with life as grown ups, like we used to do back in my days. Some people really believe, that if they start a dumb-ass hashtag in what I love to call an antisocial networking site, they will change the world from the comfort of their home or office. My point of view is, that grown ass people have to learn how to let go of shit and move on, if that doesn’t work, then get professional help and go on crazy meds. But the sad reality is, that so many parents have taught their kids… who are adults now, how to bitch and moan when they don’t like something. Please people, just learn how to change the fucking channel and move on. I know everyone wants change, but a dumb and stupid hashtag is not going do shit for a cause! Oh crap! I almost forgot! Spread the word… #NoMovementMovement

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I’m Just Myself

I remember that when I was a kid, I wanted to be just like a superhero. I remember that for Halloween, my parents always got me a superhero costume. As I grew older and I learned about history, I just wanted to be like some people in history, you know, people who change things for the good of humanity. The whole thing is, that looking back in my life, I always wanted to be like someone else, never did I just thought about being myself. I mean, I wanted to make history, I wanted to help humanity and I also wanted to change the world if I could. Never did it occurred to me, just to be myself.

The point that I am trying to make here is, that I see so many people going out in the world, trying to change everything or trying to be like someone else. I feel that they try so hard, that they get lost or better yet, they lose themselves in all the bullshit. The one thing that I learned in my early 20’s was, that I shouldn’t give a flying fuck, about what others thought about me. That included how I looked, dressed, talked, sounded, viewed everything, how much money I had, what I could or not afford and how I lived my life in general. The way that I look at life now is, that as long as I am not hurting myself or anyone else, I shouldn’t give a fuck about what people think or say about me. What I am trying to say here is, that I love being me! I just don’t give a rat’s ass about people’s fucked up opinions and you shouldn’t either. Just be yourself. Feel comfortable in your skin.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I’m A Loner. So What?

Not so many people know that out of nine children that My parents had, I am the youngest one and the only boy. I remember that when I was between three and five years old, my family lived in Puerto Rico. I still remember the place, because we had a big mountain for our backyard. I remember that I used to go up the mountain all of the time and play by myself, for who knows how long, because I enjoyed it so much. As I go older, I really got to enjoy playing by myself. As a matter of fact, to me, it was something normal.

My point? I just don’t know where people got the idea that being a loner is a bad thing. I mean, being a loner doesn’t mean that I hate people and that I hate spending time with other human beings. You have to understand, that I have been a loner my whole life, but I still do socialize with others. You see, I don’t expect others to like everything that I like, so there are certain things that I like to do alone. I also like to be alone in order to be able to think and reflect on life and also to recharge. A lot of people need to do some really good research before they call someone a sociopath rather than a loner. Also, only because I am a loner, doesn’t exactly mean that I am depressed and thinking about death, it’s just that I enjoy spending time by myself. Plus I have been married for thirty years, have two adult kids and a crazy dog, in other words, even though I am a loner, I love spending time with my family.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

The Bad News Is… The Bad News

A few days ago I decided to cut down on my news consumption. The reason for this is, that I feel that the news, either print, TV or even the internet, is all about bad news. Another thing that I have noticed about bad, depressing and sensationalized news stories is, that it affect my mood and how I feel about humanity, life and the whole world in general. Just like anti-social websites, right now I feel that reporters and news companies, just care about ratings and making money, not about bringing the truth to the people who use or consume it.

I remember when I was a young teenager, the reporters back then, actually did research and brought stories that really matter to their readers. Today, they don’t do the research like they are supposed to, they get wrong information from sources that are not reliable and they just don’t care if the story matters to their readers. Plain and simply put, it’s just about rating and money. It is really sad, because back in the days, reporters were people who everyone looked up to and respected. Today the media is about having a story that will go viral. It really bothers me, that when I read or see a story on TV, I must ask myself… is this the truth and nothing but the truth? Or is it some made up bullshit story, by some stupid reporter or network, that is crying out for attention like a baby? The one thing for sure is, that the only news that I have been keeping up with are positive or good news and technology news. Nothing more, nothing less. The rest, is just bullshit.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!