Low Sex Drive

For those of you who might not know, I suffer from Bipolar disorder II, OCD and social anxiety disorder. The point being is, that I have been on crazy meds for more than ten years. The truth of the matter is, that I was afraid of going off of the crazy meds for many reasons, one is being depressed again and two, my OCD getting worst again. You have to understand that even though SSRI’s have many side effects, it doesn’t mean that users will experience all of them or better yet, some of them. I have to say, that when I started the crazy meds, I did experience some side effects that went away within a few weeks, but there was one that didn’t.

The one side effect that never went away was low sex drive. Actually, I didn’t put my finger on the problem, until a few months ago. Don’t get me wrong, antidepressants have worked wonders for me when it came to depression, OCD and Social Anxiety Disorder, but it all came at a high price. You have to understand, that I am 48 years old and I don’t have an erection problem, it’s just that my sex drive was lower than what it was before I went on antidepressants. So what did I do? I decided to go off of the med without telling my shrink. I haven’t seen any change yet, but I know for a fact, that it will take a few weeks for the med to get out of my system completely. Fingers crossed and I am looking forward, for my sex drive to get back to normal again.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I’m A Loner. So What?

Not so many people know that out of nine children that My parents had, I am the youngest one and the only boy. I remember that when I was between three and five years old, my family lived in Puerto Rico. I still remember the place, because we had a big mountain for our backyard. I remember that I used to go up the mountain all of the time and play by myself, for who knows how long, because I enjoyed it so much. As I go older, I really got to enjoy playing by myself. As a matter of fact, to me, it was something normal.

My point? I just don’t know where people got the idea that being a loner is a bad thing. I mean, being a loner doesn’t mean that I hate people and that I hate spending time with other human beings. You have to understand, that I have been a loner my whole life, but I still do socialize with others. You see, I don’t expect others to like everything that I like, so there are certain things that I like to do alone. I also like to be alone in order to be able to think and reflect on life and also to recharge. A lot of people need to do some really good research before they call someone a sociopath rather than a loner. Also, only because I am a loner, doesn’t exactly mean that I am depressed and thinking about death, it’s just that I enjoy spending time by myself. Plus I have been married for thirty years, have two adult kids and a crazy dog, in other words, even though I am a loner, I love spending time with my family.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

The Bad News Is… The Bad News

A few days ago I decided to cut down on my news consumption. The reason for this is, that I feel that the news, either print, TV or even the internet, is all about bad news. Another thing that I have noticed about bad, depressing and sensationalized news stories is, that it affect my mood and how I feel about humanity, life and the whole world in general. Just like anti-social websites, right now I feel that reporters and news companies, just care about ratings and making money, not about bringing the truth to the people who use or consume it.

I remember when I was a young teenager, the reporters back then, actually did research and brought stories that really matter to their readers. Today, they don’t do the research like they are supposed to, they get wrong information from sources that are not reliable and they just don’t care if the story matters to their readers. Plain and simply put, it’s just about rating and money. It is really sad, because back in the days, reporters were people who everyone looked up to and respected. Today the media is about having a story that will go viral. It really bothers me, that when I read or see a story on TV, I must ask myself… is this the truth and nothing but the truth? Or is it some made up bullshit story, by some stupid reporter or network, that is crying out for attention like a baby? The one thing for sure is, that the only news that I have been keeping up with are positive or good news and technology news. Nothing more, nothing less. The rest, is just bullshit.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I Don’t Use My Mental Disorders As An Excuse

As per my shrink, I suffer from Bipolar II disorder, OCD and Social Anxiety Disorder. If you read my about page, you will know by know that I was on a few crazy meds for my crazy mental disorders. But to be honest with you, and lets keep this on the quiet side, because I haven’t told my shrink yet….. I stopped taking the Buspirone and the Prozac and I am only taking the Risperidone, because I have realized, that I really need it to control my crazy mood swings that can change at any time, just like it happened this morning, because I didn’t take it last night before going to bed.

What’s my point with this post? My point is, that five days a week, I have to wake up at 4:30 am to get ready to go to work. You see, unlike SOME people who use their mental disorders as an excuse to get away with not working and not taking responsibility for other shits that they have to, sometimes I feel depressed, down and like shit. But if I don’t go to work, I don’t get paid and if I don’t get paid, I can’t pay my bills. What I am trying to say is….. don’t use your mental disorders in order to get away with murder, because that is sad and pathetic. Grow the fuck up and take responsibility of your life. Do get help and take crazy meds if needed, but please! please! please! stop acting like a little fucking bitch. I suffer from multiple mental disorders, but I put them in the back burner and I take care of my responsibilities, because my problems are my problems and nobody else.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!