Slowly Slowing Down

On October of last year I turned forty-eight years old. The funny thing is, that a few weeks ago, I read somewhere online, that experts… whoever they are… consider middle age to be from forty-five years old to sixty-five years old. How did they come about those numbers? Frankly my dear, I don’t know and I just don’t give a shit! But the one thing that I can be honest with you about is, that for the past year or two, I have noticed that I have been taking things easier than when I was younger. In other words, I have been slowly slowing down. I don’t know, for some weird reason, I can safely say that I am chillin’ like a villain now, because I am not rushing while walking or doing things, I’m just taking my sweet ass time.

A few years back, I remember that I used to rush when walking. Why? I really don’t know! I guess, I was just full of extra energy. A while back, I thought that I was slowing down because of the anxiety medication that I am taking, but being on and off of it for quite some time now, it just seems that it’s not the crazy med, but my body going through some changes. I’ve also noticed, that sometimes when I bend down, or try to straighten up, I can feel some pain in some joints and some parts of my body. The thing about it is, that I always knew that I was going to get old and that my body was going to go through a lot of changes, I just didn’t know how or when. I know for a fact, that I’m no spring chicken anymore, so I really have to take it easy from now on. I’m just going to be chillin’ like a villain. Nothing more, nothing less.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I Don’t Use My Mental Disorders As An Excuse

As per my shrink, I suffer from Bipolar II disorder, OCD and Social Anxiety Disorder. If you read my about page, you will know by know that I was on a few crazy meds for my crazy mental disorders. But to be honest with you, and lets keep this on the quiet side, because I haven’t told my shrink yet….. I stopped taking the Buspirone and the Prozac and I am only taking the Risperidone, because I have realized, that I really need it to control my crazy mood swings that can change at any time, just like it happened this morning, because I didn’t take it last night before going to bed.

What’s my point with this post? My point is, that five days a week, I have to wake up at 4:30 am to get ready to go to work. You see, unlike SOME people who use their mental disorders as an excuse to get away with not working and not taking responsibility for other shits that they have to, sometimes I feel depressed, down and like shit. But if I don’t go to work, I don’t get paid and if I don’t get paid, I can’t pay my bills. What I am trying to say is….. don’t use your mental disorders in order to get away with murder, because that is sad and pathetic. Grow the fuck up and take responsibility of your life. Do get help and take crazy meds if needed, but please! please! please! stop acting like a little fucking bitch. I suffer from multiple mental disorders, but I put them in the back burner and I take care of my responsibilities, because my problems are my problems and nobody else.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!