Are Some People Born Assholes, Or Do They Have To Work On It?

I know that I have criticized newspapers for publishing sensationalized stories, and I have said that I would cut down on my news consumption many times before. But the truth of the matters is, that I still do read online newspapers, but like my shrink told me once, I try not to overdose on them. Let’s be honest, too much news is not good for me and I know it. But getting back to this crazy and insane post of mine, I was reading an “exclusive story” on the New York daily news website titled “Queens school rejects student’s bid to add his name Malcolm X on senior sweater, then mocks him”, you can read it here.

To make a long story short, High School student Malcolm Xavier Combs was told by a school official, that Malcolm X, was someone who he didn’t want to be associated with. My question is… What the FUCK is wrong with some people these days!? I mean, why is it that some people can’t just shut the fuck up about things that doesn’t concern them? I just don’t get why some celebrities, government officials, politicians, school officials and so forth, who are out of touch with reality, have to open their big fucking mouth, in order to put others down? I mean! REALLY!?. I know that I blog about a lot of shits that I like, dislike and hate, but my ground rule is, that I can put myself down as many times as I want to, but I don’t do that shit to others, just so I can feel better about myself. Some people just need to learn when to shut the fuck up!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Do Not Fucking Disturb Me!

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First things first! When it comes to technology, I can’t say that I am a pro, but I can surely say that I am savvy and  knowledgeable, plus I keep up to date with it. I’m the type of person, who has liked and has embraced technology from an early age. I even went as far as teaching myself, the basics of the BASIC programing language, back in the early 80’s. Even though I didn’t finish college back in early 2001, while attending, I was introduced to coding. I also have to add, that I own a personal computer, tablet and smartphone. But the thing is, that I don’t let technology interrupt my daily dealing with life. Specially my sleep.

The thing about me is, that I for example, do not receive or make none emergency calls to and from anyone before 12:00 pm and after 9:30 pm… that includes family and friends… and specially on the weekends, when I’m chilling like a villain at home. Call me crazy or old school, but that’s just a rule that I have been following for years. So, I just don’t fucking get assholes, that for some fucking stupid reason, think that I will pick up when they call me for none emergency shit, before 12:00 pm on a weekend. Hey look! If it is truly an emergency, they can leave me a message and I will get back to them as soon as possible. Other than that, I hate dumb-asses, that don’t have shit to do early in the morning or late at night and decide to start calling people to talk shit. The way that I look at it is… if you don’t have shit to do, don’t do it on my time!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

About Assholes, Dicks And Pussies

“Pussies don’t like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes — assholes who just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is that they fuck too much or fuck when it isn’t appropriate — and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves… because pussies are only an inch and half away from ass holes. I don’t know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know that if you don’t let us fuck this asshole, we’re going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!”. Urban Dictionary (2010, November 18). Greatest speech ever. Retrieved from

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

There Are Jobs Out Here

Reporters keep mentioning how the economy is getting better and how more jobs are being created over time. Hey look! I am no expert and or don’t hold a degree in business or economics. But I can tell one thing… there are a lot of jobs out there. The way that I look at it is, that “some people” are more interested in finding jobs in a specific field, salary rate or both, which I find crazy in this economic day and age. The reason that I feel like that is, because even though I went to college, I never graduated. So what I am trying to say is, that throughout the years, I have held a lot of different jobs, from factory work to customer service representative.

My whole point is, that with a family to feed and bills to pay, I have never been picky when it comes to finding work. Since I don’t have a college degree, I just have to take whatever work comes along. You see, in my neighborhood, I’ve seen some young people complaining about the lack of jobs. But to be honest with you, the one thing that community activist and lawmakers don’t dare to say is, that there are jobs in my community, it’s just that they don’t pay what the young people “expect to be paid for the work that they perform”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of the young people who I see working in fast food joints and other businesses everyday in my neighborhood. I know what it is like, because I went through that. It’s just the handful that want to be lazy asses, that bother me. I know this, because I personally know a couple of them.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

My So Called Friend

About 20+ years ago, I met a guy who lived right across the street from me, and after many, many years, we became good friends. I remember that we used to get drunk like crazy on the weekends. As a matter a fact, we used to hangout and have a lot of fun, because we shared similar sense of humor and taste in comedy and comedians. Our friendship was so fun, that back then, we used to go online, to just look for the weirdest porno shit that we could find, in order to outdo the other and then shared it with one another. A few years later, he met a woman who he fell in love with and in time he married her and she became the mother of his children.

The thing is, that his wife, for some unknown reason, never liked my wife or myself. My so-called friend moved out of the neighborhood with her and would come visit me from time to time, but he made it clear, that his wife couldn’t find out that he was visiting the old neighborhood… even if his mother still lived across the street from me, he didn’t even visited her. You see, the one thing that I noticed about his new friends was, that they were all his wife’s friend’s husbands and boyfriends. In other words, I later came to understand, that his wife didn’t like my wife and I, because she was the one, who decided who he was friends with. And that is the reason why I don’t pick up the phone, when he calls me every couple of months. Even though he is my so-called friend, I just don’t want him to get in trouble with his wife.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I’m Too Old For That Shit

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I can say that I truly understand when young kids see others kids do something and they try to imitate them. I can go as far as to say, that I even understand teenagers that do the same, when it comes to following fashion trends. The reason for that is, that I remember that when I got my first job as a young teenager, I use to follow some of the latest fashion trends myself. I, like most kids from the hood, used to spend all of my money on expensive jeans, sneakers and other stuff, especially since my mother wasn’t able to afford them for me.

The whole thing is, that even before I hit my 20’s, I realized that I was just being a brand and or fashion slave. To be honest with you, absolutely no one had to tell me, how stupid it was to be loyal to brands. It just happened that one day, I realized how dumb and stupid I was, for spending my hard-earned cash on something, only because of the brand or because others were wearing it. Hey look! If someone can afford a product and they want to go out and buy it… good for them! The thing is, that I don’t want to hear that same person, bitch and moan about how they can’t pay their bills. I do have to say, that it is sad to see someone around my age camping out in front of a store for days, just to be one of the first to buy a stupid fucking phone. IT’S JUST A FUCKING DAMN PHONE!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Racism Is Racism No Matter What

First things first my peeps! “The term ‘racism,’ according to, which primarily uses the Random House Unabridged Dictionary as a source, is most simply the hatred or intolerance of another race or other races”. “Racism Is Racism.”, The Odyssey Online,  To be honest with you, I know that I’m going to go out on a limb with this post. But as my loyal 1.5 readers already know by now, frankly my dear, I just don’t give a fuck! So here I go! There are minorities who are racist, yet I don’t hear society talk shit about them. Another thing is, that there have been a question, that have been bothering me since the early 90’s, when I really liked stand up comedy. Why is it OK for minority comedians, to make fun of White people, but it is racist or wrong for White comedians do the opposite? And if they do, why is it that those White comedians are considered racist, yet the minority comedians are not? What is the difference? Isn’t racism just racism no matter what?

The way that I look at the whole racism movement going on right now is, that “there is no such thing as ‘reverse racism’ or ‘opposite racism’ because racism itself is not discriminatory against any particular race”. “Racism Is Racism.”, The Odyssey Online, You see, it bothers me, when I see minorities who are racist specially against White people. The hell! I’ve seen people being racist against their own race, yet complain about others being racist. It is also good to mention, that “A certain race can even be racist against their own race, and that is not called ‘self racism’ or ‘opposite racism’ or ‘backwards racism.’ It is simply called racism”. “Racism Is Racism.”, The Odyssey Online, My point is, that people nowadays, really have to get their heads out of their assholes before they call out racism. Just look the fuck around… racism is racism no matter what.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Stop Enabling Stupid People

A few years ago, The Metropolitan Transportation Authority aka The MTA decided to provide cellular and WiFi signal to all of it 424 subway stations throughout New York City. Why? Maybe just because someone didn’t have shit to do and said… AHA! Or just simply, because most riders suffer from fear of missing out aka FoMo and they complained about it. Whatever the reason behind their stupid decision was, other riders like myself, ended up paying for it. What do I mean by that? Well, now that riders have full access to free underground cellular and WiFi signals in all of the city’s subway stations, it means that they can keep connected to what I just love to call the “antisocial networking sites and apps” and to top it all off, they can also make and receive stupid calls.

You see, there are two problems with giving stupid people access to cellular and WiFi signals underground. The first one is, that stupid people don’t think! And so they have loud conversations about shit that I really don’t give a flying fuck about, don’t want to listen to, or are none of my fucking business. And two, with access to “antisocial networking sites and apps”, they watch dumb-ass stupid videos with the cell phone volume blasted all the way up… remember, they are stupid people, so they don’t know why headphones were invented, what are they used for or in some cases, that they even exist. Plus keep in mind, that all of this shit is going on, while many of us are trying to have a quiet and comfortable ride to and from work.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Some Teens Are Just Starving For Attention

For the past few weeks, I’ve been hearing and reading a lot about the Tide pod challenge in the news. I’ve heard that a few teenagers have ended up in the emergency room. The one thing that I keep hearing adults and the Tide company say is, for other teenagers not to try it because it is very dangerous and or deadly in some cases. But then you have people like me, who the only thing that I have to say to the dumb-asses and stupid ass teenagers is to go head and try it. Why do I say and feel like that? First things first! I understand the warnings to parents of small children, but when it comes to teenagers… they are just assholes that don’t have nothing better to do and who are starving for attention. So if they end up in the hospital or the morgue for doing something that they know they are not supposed to do in the first place, then good for them, but also… fuck them! 

You see, you have to understand, that I’m the parent of two adult kids. But when they were small, no company had to tell me what was dangerous for them or not. Why? Because common sense, that’s why! I didn’t have to read warning labels on any product. I didn’t have to be told by other parents. I just knew, that for example, I had to keep everything and anything away from the reach of my kids, because they didn’t know the danger of things. What I’m trying to say is, that I didn’t raise a couple of idiots, because I baby them to death. Now that they are 28 and 23, I can tell you that as other human beings, they do make mistakes, but not the deadly kind, that might put their lives and the lives of others in danger, only because they want to be assholes. I raised kids that know better than that.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!