I Can’t Read Minds For Shit!

It’s funny, that I have been married for 30 years already… boy!… how time flies! It’s funny, because when I was young, I never thought about being married for so long. I just knew that one day, I would find the right person, get married and have kids, but that was it. In other words, I never did put much thought, to being with the same person for so long. Don’t get me wrong now! They have been the best 30 years of my life. But like babies… relationships and marriage don’t come with an instruction book either. The truth of the matter is that it might be sad to say it, but it is really true, that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

You see, throughout history, we men have been called many things by women…  including but not limited to bastards, stupid, insensitive, dumb asses and even assholes. But one thing that we can’t be called, are mind readers. My point here is, that even after 30 years with my wife, even after trying many, many, many times over and over and over again and failing every single time, I have to come clean and admit. I can’t read my wife’s mind for shit! Yes that’s right! I can’t read my wife’s mind, even if my life depended on it… which it has in many occasions… for example, when asked. How do I look in this dress? Do I look fat? Or which color do you like? In other words ladies, please, please, please, just give us some hints. Don’t just let us high and dry.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

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