The Bill Cosby Agitation

I guess that since I am a powerless and poor Hispanic man from born in The Dominican Republic, I will never understand what it is like, to have power and money. What I mean by that is, that I never in a hundred years, will I ever understand why powerful and rich men, turn into sexual predators. I mean, I know they have the money and power to do as “they wish”. But what I will never understand is, why use it for something so destructive and negative? Why not use it to do good and help others?

My point is, just look at Bill Cosby, an African-American that made it in what I like to call a White world. A man who everybody and their mother looked up to and respected. Yet, instead of using his fame and power to help others make it in a very racist business, he decided to use it to rape and hurt women. I mean, who in their right fucking mind would do something like that? If I only had the power that he had in Hollywood, I would have used it to help minorities find jobs, that otherwise, they couldn’t get at all. I mean, I am no psychologist or psychiatrist, but he knew that what he was doing was wrong, yet decided to continue doing it. WHY? I mean, why be such and asshole and such an evil person? Only because he has money, power, connections and the ability to afford high-priced lawyers, he thought that no one would say something? WOW! If famous rich people are as ignorant as he is, I rather stay a poor ass, broke ass and an unknown Hispanic guy from The Dominican Republic, who at least knows how to do good rather than evil, at the end of each day.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

The Hollywood Dissonance

I remember when I was a kid, for a while, I used to go to the movie theater almost every weekend with my friends from the block. We saw all the blockbuster movies up to the mid 80’s. That included “Police academy”, “Friday the 13th”, “A nightmare on Elm Street”, “Batman” and “Superman”. Back in the days, those were the shit, and the actors and actresses….. were super celebrities to us. They were the shit back then. We used to look up and suck up to them. As a matter of fact, we wanted to be exactly like them.

Fast forward thirty plus something years! and I find out that the Hollywood bigwigs have been, are and will always be racist. Why do I say that? Well, just look around! All the lead actors and actresses are white! There, I said it! 99.99 and 3/4% are white! What I’m trying to say is, that I want to see people like me in the lead roles in the hit movies….. You know, Hispanics! I also want to see African-Americans and Asians….. in other words, I want to see minorities in Hollywood’s lead roles. I mean, are the Hollywood’s bigwigs so racist, that they can’t see, that America has changed in the last thirty years or so? Do they actually have their head, so far up their asses, that they can’t see the diversity going on right now in the entire world? I have to be honest with you, but I have all the HBO, Cinemax, ShowtimeThe movie Channel and Starz channels available to me by my cable provider. But I only have them because of my wife and kids, not because I watch movies that portray minorities in demeaning roles or no roles at all.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

The Diet Conundrum

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TGIF my peeps! I hope that today, you have enjoyed your day to the fullest and didn’t let anyone mess it up for you no matter what happened. As for me, I had a great day at work, because I was processing electronic payments only. Plus, I didn’t have to be on the phone or even cover for the lunchtime breaks. Hey look, any day that I am not on the phone, it’s a good day for me. I’ll take that over doing my favorite job function any time.

On another note! About two and a half years ago, I had what they call the vertical sleeve gastrectomy surgery, aka a weight loss stomach surgery. I have to say that I lost about 60 pounds in all. I used to have a simple breakfast at work, something like a small bowl of cereal with fat-free milk or even oatmeal with honey, instead of regular sugar. But a few months ago, they close the cafeteria at work, because they are doing some renovation work, they will be doing so, until this coming December. The bad news of it all is that since then, I’ve been eating high calories and high fat breakfast at work and I have gained about 38 pounds. As of this past Tuesday, I have been trying to eat healthy again, and I say healthy, because for sure, I can’t follow diets and I hate them to death, because they are too restricting. Right now, I am trying to drink a lot of water, eat low calories, low sugar, low salt and low-fat or fat free foods. I’m trying to divide two low fat or fat free meat sandwiches, between breakfast and lunch. Then, I have some fruits in between.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!


The Bipolar Paradox

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Even though I suffer from Bipolar II disorder, I don’t blog much about it, because it has been under control ever since I was diagnosed, as suffering from it. I do remember many years before I was diagnosed, I used to get home and laid in bed watching TV with my wife. I used to talk none stop so much, that my wife had to tell me to shut the hell up. I felt bad, when that happened, but I knew that for some weird reason, I just couldn’t sop talking. And that happened for many, many years.

I remember when I started seeing my current shrink Dr. C, he first diagnosed me with OCD, but after a while seeing him, I never knew that I was suffering from Bipolar II disorder, because he never told me. The only way that I found out was, because I asked for a letter from him, addressed to my regular doctor, in order to have what it’s called a vertical sleeve gastrectomy or better a stomach weight lost surgery. When I asked him about it, he told me about the symptoms that I was showing, so then, it all made sense to me. You know, the talking and the racing thoughts. Some people might think, that it was a bad thing, but it wasn’t. It was really a good thing, because I was able to go on crazy meds and they did help with the racing thoughts and the talking. The only thing that we haven’t been able to control are, my Pure O OCD intrusive thoughts. But we are still working on that. My fingers are crossed.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

The Big Stupidvisor

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Today was a hard day at work and that was because I was doing what I hate the most out of my job. That was being on the phone. I have to say, that I love my job, it’s just that after working in the call center for around two years and working at the walk in office for six months, I just got tired of taking shit from customers over the phone and in person. Don’t get me wrong, my stupidvisors tell me, that they like the way that I work and help our customers, but it’s just that I got tired of hearing the same old lame bullshit stories, from different people on a daily basis.

The one thing that I can say that I love to do is, working on email and faxes. But the shit is, that the stupidvisor that does the scheduling, for some weird fucking reason, decided not to put me on email and faxes this week. I don’t know, but I feel that it was some kind of punishment, for leaving early twice last week, for two dental appointments. The same shit happens, when I go back to work, for being out sick for a few days. For some weird ass reason, he schedules me for more than a few days, on the fucking phone. The damn stupidvisor knows for a fact, that I hate the phone, so he keeps doing the same shit. One advise that I can give my loyal 1.5 readers is, to never tell your stupidvisors, what you like and or hate about your job. The reason for that is, that they will use it every time they get, against you.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Me, Myself And My OCD

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The one thing about dealing with OCD is the uncertainty. You see, the whole thing about the doubting disorder is….. that it makes me doubt myself a lot. Do you want one example? Well, just look at how many videos I’ve posted to this here crazy blog of mine. I did it for a few days, then I started to doubt myself, about if it was a good idea or a bad one to post them videos. That’s the reason why I keep going back and forth. The doubting and the intrusive thoughts are the things that make OCD a pain in the ass.

What I am trying to say is, that while suffering from OCD, I can’t make decisions that I am 100% comfortable with. I keep going back and checking and re-checking things, to make sure that I didn’t mess-up. It’s very hard to deal with that part of my OCD, but by not giving in and not deleting any old post or videos that I have uploaded, I can tell my OCD to go fuck itself. I know that it might not make sense at all, but that’s what OCD those to me most of the time….. it doesn’t make no sense at all. One thing for sure is, that I had a few beers this past weekend, which means, that my anxiety is on a higher level, than what it had been for my sober month. You see, that is one of the reasons, why I am staying away from consuming alcohol as much as I can….. my anxiety.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Happy Hump Day Y’all!